Ok, I WON'T finish that title...lol!
I know the only opinion that matters is God's.
But I think, because I know that my every move is being scrutinized by certain people, I feel like I have to prove myself sometimes. I think a lot of home school moms feel this way...like we have to be overachievers or something.
I look around at what the homeschool moms are doing in my church and my community and the things they accomplish blows my mind.
I had a conversation with a retired public school teacher recently, who knows me and a few other homeschool moms, who questioned me as to how we (homeschool families) are able to get school in each day on top of all the other extra things we do and are involved in. I can't speak for others, but I did share with her how we do things. I hope I helped to ease her mind that we (well most of us) do take school seriously and we strive to give our kids the best education we possibly can all while sharing the love of Christ with others.
Anyway, back to the overachievers club...Lately, I have begun to feel overwhelmed. I even admitted to this in that conversation that I am bad about piling one thing after another into my schedule as the year goes on.
I love the things that I am involved in. I love teaching Sunday school, helping with Kids for Christ, volunteering at the local crisis pregnancy center, being involved in our church's apartment ministry and clothing closet, helping in Awana, teaching in our home school co-op, and all the other things on my list.
When my kids were younger and school took a fraction of the time it does now, I had more time to do a lot of these extra things. This school year, when my son hit the 6th grade...time slowed down A LOT and there just didn't seem to be as many hours in my day as there used to be. I don't think I was prepared for it. I just don't feel like I am giving 100% in all the things I am involved in anymore.
Recently, I visited a friend's blog titled 'A Million Skies'. She posted about ministry. You can check it out here.
It really made me stop and think...educating my children at home is a ministry...my family is a ministry...my neighbors are a ministry. Sometimes, I can get so busy ministering to others or listening to others define ministry for me that I miss ministering to those closest to me. I think this is part of why I am feeling overwhelmed. I haven't had time to keep my house up like I need to, no time to plan and cook meals like I need to, no time to do those extra fun things that make homeschooling special, no time to stop and visit with my neighbors, etc.
This doesn't mean I have to give up all the other things that I love doing. It means I need to be more intentional and choose things that I can give 100% in - not just half-do.
It means, I need to stop caring what other people around me think and focus on what I feel God leading me to do. I don't have anything to prove to anyone. I don't have to be super-woman.
It's ok for me to just be a mom, wife, homeschool teacher, neighbor, and friend. Other areas of ministry will fall into place too, but they don't have to overwhelm me.
Pauline,
ReplyDeleteI used to be very involved in ministry before and after my first son came along. When he turned 4 and I began our homeschooling journey, I realized that being in charge of a home, a husband, a child, and his education, was enough. I had to learn to say "no" and not care if people were upset that I didn't take on something outside the home, because I knew what my goals were.
There have been times, over the past 16-17 years, where I've tried to step out and take on another role (in ministry) and God has brought me right back home and said "NO"! It took a few times, back and forth, for me to realize that this is where my peace is and this is the season I'm in.
God may be "ok" with you choosing one thing, but if we are so wound up with our own agenda (no matter how great the task), then we are not leaving room for his opportunities to minister.
I know it's hard to let go :) But, it's a great feeling knowing that you are doing one thing well, rather than 5-6 things not-so-well.
If you clear your plate, I guarantee, God will show up with plenty of opportunities for you!
Amen! Bring on the plate clearing ;)
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