Eat Your Words...

So, yesterday was insane.

If you have been following my recent posts, then you know we made up our minds and were content to stay right where we are. We really were...at least I thought we were. Then we get an email about the perfect house for us...and it was.

The house had EVERYTHING we were planning to do to this house as far as construction and remodeling and then some...perfect size - not too big or too small, acreage, quiet little town, number of bedrooms, space for a school room, pool, AND a killer price. We could basically move from here to there with very little added cost!!!!

An older home, well built. Nothing fancy, but nice, clean and a good use of every square foot of space. The doors I want to put on this house, the other house had. The 2 bay storage building with lean-to we want to put here, it had. The bathroom we want to add here for pool access, it had. The desks the kids each wanted put in their rooms, it already had them built in. Plus, BOTH of the kids were onboard with moving there and usually one has been not so sure :/ There's more, but I'll stop there.

I thought, "Why, God, why? Why are we seeing this now that our minds are finally made up to stay here? We are trying hard to trust you...Is THIS what you had planned all along? Was that a test? Is THIS the step you want us to take?

So, we make an appointment to see it the next day (which was last night). LOVED IT! Put an offer on it an hour later only to find out that the owners had accepted another offer earlier in the day. Our realtor was understandably upset.

Seriously?!? WHY did we have to go through that? Why didn't that realtor let our realtor know and save us ALL the time and effort if an offer had already been accepted well before our viewing? What do you want us to learn, God? What are you trying to teach us? I want to trust, I am trying to trust, but I'm so confused. It feels like the perfect bait was dangled in front of me and when I went to reach for it, it was snatched away. I hate that feeling.

I'm not really mad...I'm confused and disappointed. Well, I am upset with that other realtor. I don't like to waste other people's time and I certainly don't appreciate others wasting mine :/ 

So, that puts us right back to where we started...here. 

You know, it's funny.... Right before I got the call from our realtor, I was telling my sister all about the house and how perfect it was. They are also in the process of buying a home and she told me their financing fell through (due to NO fault of their own - issues with the loan company itself) and they didn't know if the sellers would be willing to wait and start the entire process over again with them. I told her to "trust in God; he may have something better for you". 

Little did I know, I would be eating my own words no less than 5 minutes later when our realtor called back to give us the bad news...

I've decided, telling someone else to trust is much easier....when you have to swallow your own words? Not so much...

I know in my heart that His ways are always higher and His plans are always good, so why does my mind still have trouble accepting that when a kink is thrown in?

Obviously, I still have a long way to go with the whole trust thing :( 

Needs vs Wants...

So, my husband and I sat down and really tried hard to separate our TRUE needs from things that were really just wants. Funny how easy it is to get the two confused ;)

We came up with a few things...we really did need another bedroom for fostering. We did need some additional storage space. In a house with no attic space, no storage closets inside the house, and tiny bedrooms and clothing closets...we had reached a point where some of the things we needed to keep around were taking over and cluttering up the entire house. Then there's what to do with all my school things I needed to keep if that room was going to be converted into another bedroom :/

Fast forward to the month of February and we have decided we are going to put up a wall between our school room and dining room in order to create that additional bedroom. This one has been very hard for me, but I know it's the right thing to do. We are going to put in a storage building next to our house to store all the school and other household things we need to keep, but may not necessarily use on a day to day basis. We are also going to convert the existing and unused tiny front porch into a hallway to keep the flow of traffic from going through the dining room and to help with the air conditioning circulation to our living room (which has always been an issue in our L-shaped house). 

We do have a small list of wants too...depending on the cost, they may come at the same time the needs do, they may come later, or perhaps not at all.

We'd love to add a half bath in the laundry room. The water and sewer lines run right past that room, the backdoor to the laundry room is right by the pool, and it's located off the living room so people who visit don't have to go through our entire home to use the bathroom. We put in an above ground pool and deck 2 summers ago, but we (and guests) have to walk through the entire house to get to the bathroom. I sop up lots of water during the warm months...which, in Texas, is pretty much 75% of the year. And it ain't easy trying to keep those wood laminate floors from getting water in the cracks and bubbling up :( 

I'd love to update my kitchen by adding in a few cabinets along the side wall (which would give me some much needed kitchen storage) and painting the existing cabinets. I'm fond of the antiqued/distressed look. Hey, what's not to like there? If you bump or scratch the cabinet doors, it looks like it's supposed to be there ;)

And finally, we'd love to add on a usable front porch that we can actually sit under on a porch swing, watch the rain, the birds and squirrels, and anything else that might be going on outside. We love the outdoors...

When we finally had our minds made up as to what we really needed to do, we both have felt at peace since then. I don't know if God will have us move in the future, but for now, we feel He wants us to stay right here :)