Eat Your Words...

So, yesterday was insane.

If you have been following my recent posts, then you know we made up our minds and were content to stay right where we are. We really were...at least I thought we were. Then we get an email about the perfect house for us...and it was.

The house had EVERYTHING we were planning to do to this house as far as construction and remodeling and then some...perfect size - not too big or too small, acreage, quiet little town, number of bedrooms, space for a school room, pool, AND a killer price. We could basically move from here to there with very little added cost!!!!

An older home, well built. Nothing fancy, but nice, clean and a good use of every square foot of space. The doors I want to put on this house, the other house had. The 2 bay storage building with lean-to we want to put here, it had. The bathroom we want to add here for pool access, it had. The desks the kids each wanted put in their rooms, it already had them built in. Plus, BOTH of the kids were onboard with moving there and usually one has been not so sure :/ There's more, but I'll stop there.

I thought, "Why, God, why? Why are we seeing this now that our minds are finally made up to stay here? We are trying hard to trust you...Is THIS what you had planned all along? Was that a test? Is THIS the step you want us to take?

So, we make an appointment to see it the next day (which was last night). LOVED IT! Put an offer on it an hour later only to find out that the owners had accepted another offer earlier in the day. Our realtor was understandably upset.

Seriously?!? WHY did we have to go through that? Why didn't that realtor let our realtor know and save us ALL the time and effort if an offer had already been accepted well before our viewing? What do you want us to learn, God? What are you trying to teach us? I want to trust, I am trying to trust, but I'm so confused. It feels like the perfect bait was dangled in front of me and when I went to reach for it, it was snatched away. I hate that feeling.

I'm not really mad...I'm confused and disappointed. Well, I am upset with that other realtor. I don't like to waste other people's time and I certainly don't appreciate others wasting mine :/ 

So, that puts us right back to where we started...here. 

You know, it's funny.... Right before I got the call from our realtor, I was telling my sister all about the house and how perfect it was. They are also in the process of buying a home and she told me their financing fell through (due to NO fault of their own - issues with the loan company itself) and they didn't know if the sellers would be willing to wait and start the entire process over again with them. I told her to "trust in God; he may have something better for you". 

Little did I know, I would be eating my own words no less than 5 minutes later when our realtor called back to give us the bad news...

I've decided, telling someone else to trust is much easier....when you have to swallow your own words? Not so much...

I know in my heart that His ways are always higher and His plans are always good, so why does my mind still have trouble accepting that when a kink is thrown in?

Obviously, I still have a long way to go with the whole trust thing :(