It's really hard to think of her not being here anymore. Every picture of her seems to stare straight into my heart. When someone you really care about is gone, you start to think about all the things you should have done, the things you should have said (or not said), the extra time you should have spent with that person through the years...just everything. To be honest, I've never lost anyone who was as close to my heart as my mom was. I mean, I've lost grandparents, other relatives, and even friends in the past, but I was either too young at the time to fully understand what was going on or I was not as close to them as I was with my mom.
I miss all those things that used to get on my nerves: the lecturing phone calls, the unwanted advice, the arguments... And, of course, I miss all the nicer things too. My mother was truly the strongest person I had ever known. Her steadfast faith in Jesus Christ still continues to amaze me. Her church, C Baptist, created a a short 6-7 minute video of her and her testimony for a special they did in their church back in May of this year. It was played at her funeral. I still can't watch it without tears coming to my eyes and that will probably always be the case. If you have not watched it yet, please take the time to do so.
In the months before she passed away, she spoke to me a lot about the Holy Spirit. She told me the Holy Spirit was her comfort, her guide, her advisor, her helper, her strength... I have so much more to say about this topic, but I will save that for a future blog once I can collect my thoughts together.
On a side note - I am so far behind in our home school blog postings. I will catch up...one day.
Beautiful Pauline. I am so blessed to learn that you blog about your life and your mom. You are all so amazing and you have so much to share with world about your lives and how Christ uses them everyday. Love you and I am praying for you.
ReplyDeleteI have personally been so touched by the strength you and your siblings have shown during this time. It is such a testimony of God's sustaining comfort and grace. Our prayers continue for your family and the days ahead. Love you ...
ReplyDeleteThis absolutely touched my heart. You are so blessed to have a mom who set a godly example before you! I would have loved to meet her and gleamed from her wisdom granted by our Lord!
ReplyDeleteChristine
I'm so blessed to have such wonderful, praying, Christian friends like yourselves. Thank y'all so much!
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