Wednesday, January 27, 2016

My Burning Bush via a Rolling Cart ;)

The Christian school where my nephews attend was cleaning out and getting rid of a lot of things. My sis asked me if I wanted to have a nice rolling cart with marker board because no one else wanted it. Really?! Those things are super nice and expensive. I'm sure I knew someone in my circle who wanted it. Eventually, it made its way to my house where it sits in the back of my school room in front of the fireplace we never use...because we live in South Texas and a fireplace is nothing more than a decorative area ;)

All the while, remember, we are still searching for a new home. My husband and I had tossed around the idea of adding a bedroom on to our current home, but with an L-shaped house, that is not always easy to do and there's the headache of living in a home that is being renovated and that was just not something we wanted to do. 

We did decide to start doing a few updates to our home tho, you know, to get it ready to sell... clean out clutter, paint a few walls, update the master bathroom, clean up the yard, etc...   While doing this, a thought kept occurring to me.... look at what you have's more than enough...and it's already paid off.

I kept pushing that thought back. What was I thinking! It was NOT enough room...sure, if I closed in my school room we'd get that extra bedroom, but that was NOT happening. I NEEDED my school room!

Over the Christmas holidays, my sis borrowed my school table for a family get together. I kept forgetting to get it back...and you know what, we did ok for those few weeks of school. I found that the dining room table doubles quite nicely as a school table ;)  Without that school table, the kids did their school work all over the house (their bedrooms, the couch, the floor) rather than just staying mostly in the school room at the school room table. 

Little by little, the things I thought I NEEDED, I found were really just wants and I could do without. But God, if I got rid of my school room, where would I put my wall marker my dining room?!? I love my marker board. I know, it's kind of a weird obsession. It's one of my staples. I use it every single day. I need it, but I'm not sure I want that thing hanging up in my dining room :( 

Then I glance over and see that rolling cart...complete with marker board. 

Seriously, God, did you send my burning bush via a rolling cart?

Home Sweet Home?

I don't remember when we started looking to move to a new home, but it happened around the same time we felt we were being led to foster...I'm thinking August or September of 2015.

I decided, if I was going to do this, I "needed" a larger home. Of course, this new home "needed" to be completely updated, have high ceilings, AND a pool. Eventually, we found one that fit the bill and we put in an offer. It was accepted and we began the process of inspections. 

This home was absolutely beautiful and had everything (and more) we thought we "needed" in a new home. Long story short, from that point on, neither myself or my husband could sleep at night. We tossed and turned and were not at peace about anything. We were literally making ourselves sick over it all. We were praying hard for God to lead us in the right direction and to make the right decisions and He was...Problem was, we were not listening :/  

We had our minds made up as to what WE needed and what direction WE needed to move in. We were trying hard to make OUR will God's will instead of the other way around. 

The entire time, I kept hearing God say, but you already HAVE what you NEED. Yes, we could have gone through with the home purchase and eventually become comfortable with it all, and yes, God would still have been with us...but in the end, that's not the best He had for us. We were settling for something other than His best for us. 

We convinced ourselves that it was just that house...that there must be something better God has for we continued to look. "God, please guide us to the right home", I prayed over and over. "Seriously, God, send me some sort of sign or burning bush guiding us in the right direction." 

Problem was, he had, but I refused to see it. 

Monday, January 25, 2016

The "F" Word...

The "F" word....It's something I have been praying about, thinking about, and occasionally conversing about with my husband...


If adding my brother into the homeschooling mix wasn't enough, my husband and I feel God had laid it on our heart to begin fostering. So, in September, we started taking classes. Fast forward to January and we are only about half way through the process. We could have been done by now, but there have been several distractions getting in the way...major layoffs at my husband job, contentment issues, and just the regular ol' chaos of everyday life. 

I see now how God has been helping me work through my issues with control and change and flexibility...things I will definitely need when fostering. I look at what we have going on currently and I get overwhelmed thinking about how we are going to do all that AND foster :/

I need to trust, that if God has told us to do something, He will supply us with whatever we need when the time comes in order to do that something. I let the worry of future things get in the way of my present things all too often.

I also "think" I "need" too many things before we start fostering, problem is, I'm getting my NEEDS and WANTS all mixed up. 

One of those being our home. Ok God, if you want me to do this, then I'm going to NEED a bigger house.

I have issues...

Wow! Has it really been almost a year since my last post? Hard to imagine time flying by so quickly. I used to be better at documenting what has been going on with the kids schooling. I use this as a year book of sorts. The kids like to look through the pictures and recall memories of fun activities and other things from the past.

LOTS of changes will be taking place in our little family very soon. We are excited about it, but very nervous at the same time. Before I get to that, let me catch you all up on what HAS BEEN going on before I get to what WILL BE going on (just in case anyone except for me actually reads this and feels

My brother is homeschooling with us again :) I had a matter of days (yes, literally days) to prepare for him at the start of the school year. Luckily, my son and brother are in the same grade, so we were able to make copies of needed worksheets until his books arrived. I am a HUGE planner so it's a wonder I survived the first few weeks and months given that everything was thrown into a tail spin and the months of planning I had done over the summer was thrown out in a matter of minutes :(  Have I mentioned I don't like last minutes changes? I have issues with change.

Looking back, I realize God was teaching me to be flexible and to allow Him to be in control instead of me. Have I mentioned that I like to have control too? And I DON'T like to give it up... Yes, I have major control issues as well.

Why is He teaching me these things tho? It all had to do with the "F" word...